Homophobia refers to the prejudice against homosexual or queer individuals. It has grown in popularity recently due to it's use at a political tool in many areas.

  It's important to note that this year (2023) we have seen our first ever State of Emergency for LGBTQIA+ people here in the USA (Human Rights Campaign). So when we discuss why people are afraid of queerness, its important to first learn about who and what it means to be LGBTQIA+ or an Ally. 

Knowing that you get to choose who you love in this life, is the best part of having friends, growing up, and learning about who you might be into and how you want to start these relationships. Loving one another is a huge part about what makes all of us human, and a community. If you are a cisgender or transgender individual it doesn't matter, all of us should feel and be loved by our family and friends. Of course we know this is not alwasy the outcome, but we want everyone to know that if you aren't receiving proper care at home for your identity that those feelings are valid. There is still time and ways for us to grow up without the same hatred that our peers or parents have for these identities. This is how we try and avoid Internalized Homophobia. Our brains often will adopt the feelings that the people around us have, and so when we know something is okay, and others think it isn't, we can start to have some big emotions. Whether a friend of yours is LGBTQIA+ or you are, there are ways to remain loving to those people in the community without adopting the social discrimination that others have. 

We hope that we can foster a conversation where the act of sex itself is not sexualized. It is vital that we are able to come together as a species, across both sexes, to understand that sexual activity has historically not always been pleasurable for everyone involved, and the force of birthing and sex on females, has created a generational shift in how one may view sexual activity. When coming at these conversations from a scientific perspective, we have to remain aware that these are functions of our bodies, and for some the lack of function or ability is really difficult to manage. The more we have educated conversations on these topics, the less scared or stigmatizing it will be to experience them. We all have these bodies, yet we still want to live in a world where we pretend we don't know. There is nothing that should be forcibly hidden from the rest of the world, especially if it is about the state of our bodies or lives, we are here on Earth to wittness one another. We should curate a society where there is no justification for unconsensual actions that comes from ever mistaking another human's state of being as 'promiscuity', for that is a grave dishonor to our own species. Promiscuity itself, is a word that should have never needed to exist, only used to describe a women's presentation from a horrendous man's perspective. 

Another example, being able to discuss an orgasm and how they can occur for/in different bodies, without sexualizing the conversation, is imperative for us to have a framework and move through discussing the ways pleasure can occur with another person, without creating unnecessary pressure or being uneducated about potential needs. 

There are many groups of people who do not experience, or define, sexual pleasure in the ways typical society may; and beyond their ability for such, they carry entire lives with them still. We often forget about people's traumas (old or new), and that emotional, physical, or mental these traumas stay with us, changing in the soft ways they might, but they never go away. We have to keep in mind that outside of ability or want, all bodies experience orgasm and pleasure differently in the physical form. This along, with the complexity of different genitalia potentially needing different stimulation to achieve pleasure, can influence the series of actions so that sexual acts are only pleasurable for one person at a time. 

 From a neurological perspective, we have to keep in mind that sexual pleasure and sexual desires have always lived in the part of the brain responsible for fight or flight, and our adrenaline centers, which means for those who've experienced a lot of their life in severe fight or flight, sexual activities may be a different experience. It is often that people experience intense emotional releases when they experience sexual pleasure, which is something that we as a society should be foster more in conversation. 

Many groups of people experience their pleasure in different ways depending on how sexual activities have occured in their lives, and how it affects them. We know that 1 in 6 women have been assaulted, so we understand that there may be direct trauma associated with the act of sex, and sexual pleasure. The act of sexual reproduction for the intention of birth can also bring it's own from of trauma for many people. Experiencing a misscarriage or loss of a child, is a life-changing experience, one that may temporarily or long-term affect the people who are in that relationship. For parents going through infertility, the act of sexual activity can become associated with negative emotions rather than positive ones.  That does not mean that sexual activity isn't pleasurable for people in this situation, but that the pleasure is not being done for the act of pleasure, but to lead to a child. 

Coming out to your parents, friends, teachers, and family (etc.) can be very difficult. Getting the courage enough to say to someone you love (and not the mirror) can be a big jump. For many people it can be jump out of fear into love and support, but for others these people can be an unsafe person to talk to. Unfortunately in several states, it is now required that teachers notify parents if a child comes forward about a queer identity.  So when deciding whether or not to come out, it's important to start with someone you know you can trust and who will guarantee your safety and acceptance. If you don't feel like this is available for you, than it's important to be strong and brave in keeping yourself safe. No one in the queer community wants you to be in an unsafe environment because of coming out, so make sure you choose a time where you have safe resources if need be. Many parents especially young parents, are devoted to making sure a child feels comfortable coming out to them or know about the choices they have when it comes to love later in life.