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We know this is a stressful time, we hope that our resources are able to bring some comfort in this unstable time. We are experiencing this together!
A necessary part of each person's transitions in life is beginning to understand your sexual desires or sexual identity. Sexual health is a large piece of our always changing and maturing bodies. It's important for us to keep ourselves and others informed so we can all make safe informed decisions about our bodies. When it comes to sexual health, there are a lot of ways that we can make sure we are being safe and healthy with our sexual actions. There are a lot of sexual acts that don't even include sharing of fluids so that you are not at risk of spreading STD/STIs. We believe that in order to know when others are being inappropriate around the topic or act of sex, we must know how others should treat us when engaging in these acts. The number one way to silence those affected by molestation, rape, abuse, etc., is to remove their ability to know what is happening to them. Talking to young children about how our bodies work, and the boundaries we have for them, will increase the awareness these youth will have going forward. Knowing how to respect genitalia and bodies of those around us in crucial in our maturing process and sexual health.
Sexual Education is a vital part of growing up, but not having the information can be dangerous and threatening to their ability to consent and stop unwanted or dangerous behavior from others.
"I want to have sex!" - said every person when they first experience a sexual desire, which is a very normal part of growing up and entering puberty/adolescence. We want to be clear that before interacting with someone else's body you need to make sure that you are truly able to make those decisions for yourself, without any pressure from society or others. If you are searching for a way to feel relieved sexually, rather than interacting directly with another person, then masturbation can also be a very crucial step. Many people don't think about it, but if you and your partner are not sure you are ready to share contact, masturbation and mutual masturbation can be options for you.
Sexual acts can be achieved in several different ways, from light touching to penetration. Below we cover the ways in which people can interact with each other's genitalia and how we can better understand these experiences.
Stevie Boebi: Queer Sexual Educator and Disability Advocate
"WHAT IS SEX? " Video
Fully-comprehensive sexual education video that goes from the basics through queer identities and sexual experiences. She also deconstructs types of relationships, identities, virginity, and typical sexual stereotypes.
"How do I Come? Everybody comes Weird."
Understand the orgasm, accessibility of sexual pleasure, and differences in AFAB experiences during orgasm. Specifically mentions POTS affects on orgasms and health.
Consent in All Spaces is a mechanism we can use to focus on how we would want to be treated in any given situation. We know that being forced to do anything is uncomfortable, and when it comes to sexual encounters there is a high tendency for people to abuse their position in the exchange of pleasure. This is not only a crime, but a tendency high enough that 1 in 4 people Assigned Female At Birth, or represent femininity, are sexually abused before the age of 18. This is not to take away from the ways that males are also victims of sexual assault.
Talking about consent is important and there are plenty of ways to make is a sexy experience. We should always discuss our sexual preferences in terms of sexual acts, before we engage in sexual acts with someone new. It's important to discuss STD/STI status and make sure that this is a person you are comfortable with. Continuous consent is also important, and if you aren't feeling a situation don't feel compelled to continue. Make sure to have good communication with the people you are engaging with, this can be even in non-sexual spaces. Consent can revolve around many different areas in life such as, medical procedures, touching (hugging/kissing), discussion of personal information or triggering information, etc.
Consent and Sexual Health Conversation Disclaimer:
Consent and Sexual Health Conversation Disclaimer:
It's important that we increase health awareness around the topics of sex, because sexual partners are sharing fluids and bodily contact, which can permanently affect one's health. Being aware of all the health positives and awareness of potential negatives, is what allows for a person to make an informed decision, which is required for proper Consent. No one should ever be pressured into having sex, which includes any type of convincing, talking someone into, or suggesting something should happen. Consent should be clear and enthusiastic, for all partners involved. Someone should never be so caught up in their own pleasure, that another person's pleasure, comfort, or consent is over-ridden or ignored.
Often people who want to have conversations about sex, are not doing so in a way that is comfortable, consensual, and/or without assumption. These traits can build habits that are predatory, and unsafe for people to engage with. It's vitally important that we learn how to de-sexualize the conversations around sex, so that we can be both clinical and caring about the way we interact with eachother's bodies. If there are people significantly older than you, or that have power over your position in a work place, try to engage in conversations about sex (specifically without your invitation); its likely that they often participate in that type of predatory behavior.
Often people in community don't want to call out the prevalence of the predatory nature in romantic, platonic, and sexual relationships around them, which can cause direct harm to the community. However, we also have to understand the historical roots of abuse and manipulation of AFAB people, and how most AFAB people are constantly at risk of violence from men. When an AFAB person is pregnant, the most likely way for them to die is murder by a man. 1 in 6 AFAB people have been sexually assaulted; all AFAB people know someone whose been sexually assaulted. While these often only mention the extremes, all forms of violence, manipulation, abuse, and assault, are never okay; and we should do everything in our power to not let these systems continue to hold power and take hold of over lives. When people are able to manipulate the systems of which a person must live within, there will always be a lack of consent. Even when we believe we are taking the time to care about autonomy, we need to check in with the people around us to see what we can be doing better. Furthermore, when it is safe, we should do what we can to check in with the safe people around us when we are experiencing potentially abusive behaviors from any person. We have seen the extremes of these ideals throughout the darkest times in our human history, however these hateful and abusive ideals still run strong today. Among the many reasons people should take more time getting to know one another and learning the respect that people are willing to have for one another.
Sexual Education is a vital part of growing up, but not having the information can be dangerous and threatening to their ability to consent and stop unwanted or dangerous behavior from others.
Politeness culture is often shown to us as simply, “good behavior,” but it operates as a socially constructed system that manages conflict, emotion, and communication in ways that position unbalanced and underlying power dynamics. Its rules are rarely neutral, as we know the word crime can be weaponized to describe actions in a shallow way. They emerge from collective pressures to protect the comfort of those who benefit most from existing social structures, and they shape who is allowed to speak, how they must speak, and what kinds of truths are considered acceptable. Politeness culture tends to prioritize image and perception over substance and experience. It doesn’t just encourage kindness; it prescribes a narrow emotional range (seemingly articulated, presenting calm, socially submissive) and labels anything outside it as disruptive. This may create a false sense of peace, but it can also suppress necessary expressions of frustration, boundary-setting, confrontation, or appropriate restorative justice. This repression of expressed emotions can greatly impact someone's mental health and their self image and identities. Those with little-to-no institutional or social power often bear the greatest burden: they are expected to manage not only their own emotions but also the reactions of those who might feel challenged by their words. Meanwhile, people who hold power are rarely asked to soften their tone or restructure their communication for the sake of others.
This dynamic shows up in workplaces that punish direct feedback as “unprofessional,” in institutions that code discomfort as disrespect. It also shows up in everyday interactions where marginalized people are told to “calm down,” “be nice,” or “say it a different way,” before their concerns can even be acknowledged. These forms of tone policing shift attention away from the content of a message and toward its delivery, allowing the underlying issues (often related to inequity or danger/harm) to remain unaddressed. Recognizing politeness culture as a social construct doesn’t require rejecting courtesy or empathy. Instead, it invites a shift in what we value in communication: honesty over appeasement, accountability over comfort, and mutual respect over one-sided emotional labor. By rethinking these norms, we create space that is safe for conversations that are truthful, equitable, and genuinely human.
Beauty standards are shaped by systems of power, especially patriarchy and white supremacy culture, and they continue to influence how people move through the world. Patriarchy sets the tone for what kinds of bodies and behaviors are rewarded, often centering women’s (or AFAB person's) value around appearance and compliance sith social norms set forth by the patriarchy. Ideals like thinness, youthfulness, and sexual attractiveness don’t arise organically, they reflect what a patriarchal society wants from women: to be pleasing, non-threatening, and constantly self-monitoring/policing of self and others. These pressures keep people focused on correcting themselves and others rather than questioning the structures that create the insecurity or need in the first place.White supremacy culture also plays a major role by positioning Eurocentric features as the baseline for what is considered beautiful. Lighter skin, straighter hair, blue eyes, and narrower facial features have historically been treated as more “professional,” “refined,” or “desirable.” These standards didn’t just appear; they were reinforced through media, policy, and social norms that rewarded proximity to whiteness and penalized those who didn’t fit the mold. For many people of color, the result has been a long history of being encouraged or required, to change their natural features to gain acceptance or simply to be treated fairly. Both systems operate quietly but powerfully. They shape everything from hiring practices to dating dynamics to who is represented positively in our media. They also drive massive industries built on the promise of self-improvement, profiting from the insecurities these standards create. Understanding how these forces work doesn’t mean rejecting beauty altogether; it means recognizing that the ideals we inherit aren’t neutral. When we see how they function, we’re better equipped to challenge them and to make space for definitions of beauty that reflect real people, real cultures, and real bodies rather than hierarchies of gender and race.
Sydney Sweeney: American Eagle Advertisment
An Example of how racism and eugenics are at the forefront of the beauty and fashion industry. The advert has been compared to nazi style advertisements, and eugenics propaganda from World War I and World War II.
'De-Sexualizing, Sex' Why we should understand our body's history and prioritize enthusiastic consent:
'De-Sexualizing, Sex' Why we should understand our body's history and prioritize enthusiastic consent:
We hope that we can foster a conversation where the act of sex itself is not sexualized. It is vital that we are able to come together as a species, across both sexes, to understand that sexual activity has historically not always been pleasurable for everyone involved, and the force of birthing and sex on females, has created a generational shift in how one may view sexual activity. When coming at these conversations from a scientific perspective, we have to remain aware that these are functions of our bodies, and for some the lack of function or ability is really difficult to manage. The more we have educated conversations on these topics, the less scared or stigmatizing it will be to experience them. We all have these bodies, yet we still want to live in a world where we pretend we don't know. There is nothing that should be forcibly hidden from the rest of the world, especially if it is about the state of our bodies or lives, we are here on Earth to wittness one another. We should curate a society where there is no justification for unconsensual actions that comes from ever mistaking another human's state of being as 'promiscuity', for that is a grave dishonor to our own species. Promiscuity itself, is a word that should have never needed to exist, only used to describe a women's presentation from a horrendous man's perspective.
Another example, being able to discuss an orgasm and how they can occur for/in different bodies, without sexualizing the conversation, is imperative for us to have a framework and move through discussing the ways pleasure can occur with another person, without creating unnecessary pressure or being uneducated about potential needs.
There are many groups of people who do not experience, or define, sexual pleasure in the ways typical society may; and beyond their ability for such, they carry entire lives with them still. We often forget about people's traumas (old or new), and that emotional, physical, or mental these traumas stay with us, changing in the soft ways they might, but they never go away. We have to keep in mind that outside of ability or want, all bodies experience orgasm and pleasure differently in the physical form. This along, with the complexity of different genitalia potentially needing different stimulation to achieve pleasure, can influence the series of actions so that sexual acts are only pleasurable for one person at a time.
From a neurological perspective, we have to keep in mind that sexual pleasure and sexual desires have always lived in the part of the brain responsible for fight or flight, and our adrenaline centers, which means for those who've experienced a lot of their life in severe fight or flight, sexual activities may be a different experience. It is often that people experience intense emotional releases when they experience sexual pleasure, which is something that we as a society should be foster more in conversation.
Many groups of people experience their pleasure in different ways depending on how sexual activities have occured in their lives, and how it affects them. We know that 1 in 6 women have been assaulted, so we understand that there may be direct trauma associated with the act of sex, and sexual pleasure. The act of sexual reproduction for the intention of birth can also bring it's own from of trauma for many people. Experiencing a misscarriage or loss of a child, is a life-changing experience, one that may temporarily or long-term affect the people who are in that relationship. For parents going through infertility, the act of sexual activity can become associated with negative emotions rather than positive ones. That does not mean that sexual activity isn't pleasurable for people in this situation, but that the pleasure is not being done for the act of pleasure, but to lead to a child.
There are many reasons we obtain consent from other's, and when it comes to the ways we communicate that there are a few things to know. We all have our own unique history, and sometimes that history has trauma. It is not someone else's job to inform you of the trauma they have endured in the past. If they do communicate that with you, then make sure you are asking how you can avoid retraumatization and other ways to avoid the feelings of trauma. When it comes to sexual activity and other more personal matters these communicated boundaries or understandings, are even more important and vital to keep aware of. No one wants to make the people they care about or are interested in, feel uncomfortable around them. However, not all of us are the best at communication due to the years of inhibition we've endured when it comes to open communication. Knowing that not all of us are good at communication is part of having good communication. We are not always up for deep communication, and sometimes we have trouble paying attention. We can accept our faults and others as normal pieces of human communication. Sometimes lack-of-communication can be a way of communication in itself.
Regardless, the effort that we choose to put into the way we communicate, is going the effect the way our relationships function, and following consent rules is a perfect way to get comfortable with this notion. Understanding properties of consent, can open our minds to the reasons that following other's boundaries are important.
Rape culture refers to a social environment in which sexual violence is normalized, excused, glorified and even implicitly encouraged through attitudes, behaviors, and institutions that delegitimize consent and blame survivors. Its origins are deeply rooted in historical power structures, gender norms, and colonial narratives that have evolved over centuries. In many early societies, women were viewed as property of fathers or husbands, and sexual violence was often framed not as a crime against the person harmed, but as a violation of a man’s ownership rights. These patriarchal systems established long-standing beliefs that men were entitled to women and AFAB bodies and that person's autonomy was secondary, which laid out the norms that dismissed or ignored the seriousness anf impact of sexual assault. Additionally, toxic-masculinity, the expectation that men should be dominant, sexually assertive, and emotionally detached, reinforced patterns in which aggression was tolerated and intimacy was undervalued.
Over time, media representations, legal systems, and social oppression systems perpetuated these ideas: jokes about assault, victim-blaming questions in courtrooms, and portrayals of coercion as romantic all contributed to an environment where survivors felt shame or disbelief rather than support. White Supremacy and Heteronormative Patriarchy further intensified these predatory and harmful behaviors, by imposing rigid gender and racial hierarchies using sexual violence as a tool of control. Even as modern societies have made progress in recognizing autonomy and consent, remnants of these historical beliefs persist in subtle ways, through the policing of women’s clothing, the pressure on men to perform gendered roles, or the readiness to question a survivor’s credibility. Rape culture, then, is not a single ideology but a intertwined net of inherited narratives and institutional practices that collectively shape how societies respond to sexual violence. Understanding its origins highlights that it is not natural or inevitable; it is the result of long-standing social choices and structures that can be challenged and changed. By examining how these harmful norms developed and why they still influence behavior and policy, communities can better work toward creating cultures that value informed consent, respect boundaries, and support survivors with dignity and seriousness.
AFAB: Assigned Female At Birth, this is a term that is includes the majority of women who identify as cisgender women, transgender men, and non-binary folks, who are effected by the ownership of a 'traditionally' female body at birth. Traditional reproductive organs including but not limited to: Vagina, Cervix, Uterus, Ovaries, etc.
AMAB: Assigned Male At Birth, this is a term that includes the majority of men who identify as cisgender men, transgender women, and non-binary folks, who are effected by the ownership of a traditionally male body at birth. Genitalia including but not limited to: Prostate, Penis, Testes, Vas deferens, etc.
Intersex: There are also individuals who are intersex- and have a mixture of traditional sex characteristics; a percent of the population are born this way and some never find out. Intersex individuals have the right to live in their bodies however, and in whatever identity that they feel is right. As we briefly mentioned, many people have a slight variation and never find out they are intersex, due to the standard of assigning people to an oversimplified binary when deciding someone's sex based on developing body parts.
A Menstrual Cycle can also be known as a "Period", "Mother Nature", "Aunt Flow", all of which refers to the bleeding caused by cramping of the uterus through the vaginal opening for 5-7 days. This cycle happens once a month (or 26-36 days) after their first cycle begins. The Menstrual Cycle can happen as early as 7-8 years of age, the average beginning at age 10-13 years of age. However, if your Menstrual Cycle has not shown up by around the age of 15, make sure to check with your doctor to see if you need any extra medical care from an OBGYN or other Medical Professionals. This is the number one reason why discussing Menstrual Cycles at a young age with both young girls and young boys. It's important for us to do a service to our next generational by not hiding the reality of human anatomy. Teaching about menstration and the menopausal process to all young people is important for us to understand the proper ways of having public conversations about menstrual cycles. We say that teaching your child about autonomy, body part identification, and menstrual cycle knowlegde is important starting around ages 5&6. Children know more than you think and it's our job to give them the tools not to get in danger. While it will never be most children, there will always be some who start their menstrual cycles really early (like 7-8 yrs).
*We also want to mention how abortion laws have been protecting abusers and rapists who are close to young victims, by not allowing for abortions, increasing complications to childhood pregnancy, and traumatizing young children.*
Menstrual Cycles can cause unnecessary pain via cramping, headaches & migraines, nausea, bowel issues, and cyst & scare tissue formation with conditions like Endometriosis and Poly-Cystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). When we discuss time off from work, and making equal environments we often discount the menstrual cycles that people experience that may cause them to be unable to work the same.
People who experience menstrual cycles are often referred to as women, but it is also important for us to discuss the trans-men and nonbinary people in the menstruating group. Not everyone wants to be referring to their menstrual cycle as something that is specifically feminine, while others may attach womanhood with their menstrual cycle. All of those identities and feelings are positive, but we have to make room for all of them to exist together.
It's also very important to think about the burden of purchasing menstrual products to manage periods symptoms such as pads, tampons, menstrual cups, period underwear, reusable pads, etc. There are companies that have worked to remove harmful carcinogens such as chlorine, bleach, and the reduction of single use plastics. These menstrual products can also cause toxic shock if there is over exposure to the components of the products. Make sure to research the kind of products you plan to use to an extent. The PINK TAX is real and you can try to avoid it by buying straight from the website, but we all know that getting things off the shelf can be necessary. The purchasing of menstrual products can be very hard on the individuals who have low income, and they are often the least donated item. If you can please take time to donate menstrual products to those in need that can be awesome, but you can also leave them new products in public bathrooms so that someone else can pick them up when needed. If you attend a university or school see if you can get students together to pass a Menstrual Cycle or Period Bill to provide free resources to those in need on campus. Many schools have been recently adopting this practice, for the overwhelming affect it has on the pockets of college and highschool students.
I'm Looking for Resources on:
I'm Looking for Resources on:
Why should we discuss our health?
Why should we discuss our health?
Learning about the body systems in their entirety has long been stigmatized because of the lack of professional ability to discuss certain topics without having patriarchal/colonial topics/conversations pieces, coming up. It's important that we understand that we all have bodies, and while we all have our differences, many of us face similar issues. Unfortunately, the greater community has made certain topics uncomfortable to talk about with medical professionals, leaving a grave whole of medical issues that have never been discussed. As medicine has continued to evolve, it has continued to leave out female bodies, black bodies, and other demographics they'd rather ignore.
Medical system (corporation side) has focused on profit rather than treatments for the past 20 years, which has left many people in a lull of being able to discuss these 'taboo' stimagtized issues. Of course we have continued to see a loss in medical access with the recent cut of medicaid and higher insurance premiums. We have to be able to come together as a community, without enabling abuse and manipulation, and discuss these medical problems that we face so medicine facilities and doctors are able to do more research and find the causes of our long-term issues.
Our parents and grandparents were very scared to discuss their medical history and conditions, due to worry that the government or jobs may use that information as a reason to discriminate against them. We want to acknowledge that this is still an issue, and can always resurface as an even bigger issue. However, we are hoping that this information sets people up to communicate effectively with their doctors, while also maintaining the knowledge that they can look into their issues on their own. Discussing medical issues publicly when you feel confident and able, is something that can help many people. Whether you are just discussing it with friends or posting about it publicly, you are calling attention to medical information you did not have prior, which guarantees there are others like you out there. Our government and billionaire overlords don't want us having access to medical information of any kind, especially easy to comprehend and example experiences that people can quickly access for helpful information on how to get the same help from their doctors, or assistive devices, etc.
Knowing what kinds of relationships we have with the people around us can be very important. Our page on Relationships explains some of the ways that we can identify or relationships with others, but also how these relationships may affect us and the people around us. Avoiding Predators can also be something to look into that we prefer that all individuals prepare for.
(From Different Health Conditions to Activism Information)
(From Different Health Conditions to Activism Information)
Excessive Interest in Children: Perpetrators may display an unusually high level of interest in children, seeking out opportunities to be alone with them or engage in activities involving children.
Inappropriate Boundaries: Watch for individuals who consistently violate personal boundaries with children, such as invading their personal space or engaging in inappropriate touching.
Grooming Behaviors: Perpetrators often employ grooming tactics to build trust with both the child and their caregivers. This can include giving excessive gifts, providing special attention, or exploiting vulnerabilities.
Secretive Behavior: Be cautious of individuals who are excessively secretive about their interactions with children, avoiding open communication or transparency with parents or guardians.
Frequent Isolation with a Child: If someone consistently isolates a child from their peers or family, it may be a cause for concern. Perpetrators often exploit isolation to engage in abusive behavior without detection.
Manipulative Techniques: Look out for individuals who use manipulation to coerce or control a child. This can involve emotional manipulation, convincing the child to keep secrets, or using intimidation tactics.
Inappropriate Sexualized Behavior: Keep an eye on any adult displaying inappropriate sexual behavior or making sexually suggestive comments around children.
Excessive Interest in Child Pornography: Individuals with a predilection for child sexual abuse may exhibit an abnormal interest in child pornography. This is a red flag that demands immediate attention.
Changes in a Child's Behavior: Pay attention to sudden changes in a child's behavior, such as withdrawal, aggression, fearfulness, or regression in developmental milestones. These changes may be indicative of abuse.
Unwillingness to Let the Child Set Boundaries: A potential perpetrator may disregard a child's discomfort or reluctance to engage in certain activities, insisting on their own desires instead.
Patriarchy is a social and political system of oppression in which men, masculinity, and traditionally male roles hold primary power, authority, and privilege over women, non-binary people, and anyone who does not conform to norms of dominant (toxic) masculinity. It operates through institutions such as: government, law and justice system, religion, and the ideal cisheteronormative family. There are many cultural narratives, and everyday practices that collectively replicate and uphold male dominance/leadership and normalize gender roles. The direct effects of patriarchy include the inequitable distribution of power and resources between cisgender males and AFAB and feminine presenting people. Our political representation favors men, there are large gender/sex-based pay gaps, and limited access to leadership roles for non-men. The patriarchy also causes social expectations that prescribe rigid gender roles that confine women to caregiving and domestic labor while simultaneously rewarding men for dominance, independence, and emotional restriction. Patriarchy directly affects bodily autonomy (often AFAB) through the policing of women’s and queer people’s sexuality, reproductive choices, and access to safety. It also produces cultural norms that marginalize LGBTQIA2S+ identities, stigmatize non-traditional relationship structures, and frame masculinity and heterosexuality as the default standards.
The website above was provided by a person emailing us directly, it has a fully comprehensive directory to all of the Women and Children's Domestic Violence Shelters in the world, and links on where to find them. We are grateful that resources like this exist, but we also acknowledge that the oppressions and accessibility to these resources is directly what impacts someone's ability to be able to get any help at all.
Introduction on website:
Introduction on website:
"Domestic violence exploded during the first two months of the COVID-19 outbreak. In the U.S., there was a 30% increase in spousal/partner abuse towards women, and the U.K. saw a similar increase as well – 25%. Similarly,there has been an uptick in violence against men and the elderly, with financial strain caused by the pandemic being noted as the main stressor in domestic situations. Still, there is no updated, comprehensive resource that tells you where to go if you are suffering such horrible violence, or know someone who is a victim."
Other pages like this:
Other pages like this:
There is always more research being done!
There is always more research being done!
If you would like to help us write about commonly silenced areas or personal experiences you may have with these topics, contact us at thisisactivism2023@gmail.com or fill out our Comments page. We want our website to be a continuous growth of knowledge to share with each other in a positive way. There are so many things we don't talk about and we should!
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