Politeness culture is often shown to us as simply, “good behavior,” but it operates as a socially constructed system that manages conflict, emotion, and communication in ways that position unbalanced and underlying power dynamics. Its rules are rarely neutral, as we know the word crime can be weaponized to describe actions in a shallow way. They emerge from collective pressures to protect the comfort of those who benefit most from existing social structures, and they shape who is allowed to speak, how they must speak, and what kinds of truths are considered acceptable. Politeness culture tends to prioritize image and perception over substance and experience. It doesn’t just encourage kindness; it prescribes a narrow emotional range (seemingly articulated, presenting calm, socially submissive) and labels anything outside it as disruptive. This may create a false sense of peace, but it can also suppress necessary expressions of frustration, boundary-setting, confrontation, or appropriate restorative justice. This repression of expressed emotions can greatly impact someone's mental health and their self image and identities. Those with little-to-no institutional or social power often bear the greatest burden: they are expected to manage not only their own emotions but also the reactions of those who might feel challenged by their words. Meanwhile, people who hold power are rarely asked to soften their tone or restructure their communication for the sake of others.

This dynamic shows up in workplaces that punish direct feedback as “unprofessional,” in institutions that code discomfort as disrespect. It also shows up in everyday interactions where marginalized people are told to “calm down,” “be nice,” or “say it a different way,” before their concerns can even be acknowledged. These forms of tone policing shift attention away from the content of a message and toward its delivery, allowing the underlying issues (often related to inequity or danger/harm) to remain unaddressed. Recognizing politeness culture as a social construct doesn’t require rejecting courtesy or empathy. Instead, it invites a shift in what we value in communication: honesty over appeasement, accountability over comfort, and mutual respect over one-sided emotional labor. By rethinking these norms, we create space that is safe for conversations that are truthful, equitable, and genuinely human.

Beauty standards are shaped by systems of power, especially patriarchy and white supremacy culture, and they continue to influence how people move through the world. Patriarchy sets the tone for what kinds of bodies and behaviors are rewarded, often centering women’s (or AFAB person's) value around appearance and compliance sith social norms set forth by the patriarchy. Ideals like thinness, youthfulness, and sexual attractiveness don’t arise organically, they reflect what a patriarchal society wants from women: to be pleasing, non-threatening, and constantly self-monitoring/policing of self and others. These pressures keep people focused on correcting themselves and others rather than questioning the structures that create the insecurity or need in the first place.White supremacy culture also plays a major role by positioning Eurocentric features as the baseline for what is considered beautiful. Lighter skin, straighter hair, blue eyes, and narrower facial features have historically been treated as more “professional,” “refined,” or “desirable.” These standards didn’t just appear; they were reinforced through media, policy, and social norms that rewarded proximity to whiteness and penalized those who didn’t fit the mold. For many people of color, the result has been a long history of being encouraged or required, to change their natural features to gain acceptance or simply to be treated fairly. Both systems operate quietly but powerfully. They shape everything from hiring practices to dating dynamics to who is represented positively in our media. They also drive massive industries built on the promise of self-improvement, profiting from the insecurities these standards create. Understanding how these forces work doesn’t mean rejecting beauty altogether; it means recognizing that the ideals we inherit aren’t neutral. When we see how they function, we’re better equipped to challenge them and to make space for definitions of beauty that reflect real people, real cultures, and real bodies rather than hierarchies of gender and race.

Sydney Sweeney: American Eagle Advertisment

An Example of how racism and eugenics are at the forefront of the beauty and fashion industry. The advert has been compared to nazi style advertisements, and eugenics propaganda from World War I and World War II.