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Masturbation (Self Pleasure) :
Masturbation (Self Pleasure) :
Masturbation is a term most people use to refer to self-pleasuring and the normality of pleasure centered health. There are a lot of ways that each of us keeps ourselves sexually safe, and masturbation is the number one. Because masturbation focuses on self-pleasure it is known to help reconnect with the self, lessen anxiety, lessen blood-pressure, and have positive mental health effects. There is no reason for anyone to demonize the safeness of touching yourself for pleasure. There is no age or time where touching yourself should be considered inappropriate. Finding a way to have a stable and healthy relationship with our ability to pleasure ourselves, allows us to communicate that with others and know your worth. If you are confused about your body and what's best for you, it is okay to bring these kinds of questions up with a doctor or trusted guardian.
Discussing masturbation should be a more open topic, but it can be scary for some people to share those experiences with others. There is a lot of social systems that can hinder our relationship with sexuality and self, but we have to break past social norms and discuss the uncomfortable. Masturbation is such a normal part of human development that many poets and literature has even revolved around the ideas of masturbation and fantasy.
Sometimes we aren't ready to touch one another and we may choose to start with mutual masturbation. Mutual masturbation is another fluid safe sexual act that people can do together if they aren't sure about touching one another yet.
Consent and Sexual Health Conversation Disclaimer:
Consent and Sexual Health Conversation Disclaimer:
It's important that we increase health awareness around the topics of sex, because sexual partners are sharing fluids and bodily contact, which can permanently affect one's health. Being aware of all the health positives and awareness of potential negatives, is what allows for a person to make an informed decision, which is required for proper Consent. No one should ever be pressured into having sex, which includes any type of convincing, talking someone into, or suggesting something should happen. Consent should be clear and enthusiastic, for all partners involved. Someone should never be so caught up in their own pleasure, that another person's pleasure, comfort, or consent is over-ridden or ignored.
Often people who want to have conversations about sex, are not doing so in a way that is comfortable, consensual, and/or without assumption. These traits can build habits that are predatory, and unsafe for people to engage with. It's vitally important that we learn how to de-sexualize the conversations around sex, so that we can be both clinical and caring about the way we interact with eachother's bodies. If there are people significantly older than you, or that have power over your position in a work place, try to engage in conversations about sex (specifically without your invitation); its likely that they often participate in that type of predatory behavior.
Often people in community don't want to call out the prevalence of the predatory nature in romantic, platonic, and sexual relationships around them, which can cause direct harm to the community. However, we also have to understand the historical roots of abuse and manipulation of AFAB people, and how most AFAB people are constantly at risk of violence from men. When an AFAB person is pregnant, the most likely way for them to die is murder by a man. 1 in 6 AFAB people have been sexually assaulted; all AFAB people know someone whose been sexually assaulted. While these often only mention the extremes, all forms of violence, manipulation, abuse, and assault, are never okay; and we should do everything in our power to not let these systems continue to hold power and take hold of over lives. When people are able to manipulate the systems of which a person must live within, there will always be a lack of consent. Even when we believe we are taking the time to care about autonomy, we need to check in with the people around us to see what we can be doing better. Furthermore, when it is safe, we should do what we can to check in with the safe people around us when we are experiencing potentially abusive behaviors from any person. We have seen the extremes of these ideals throughout the darkest times in our human history, however these hateful and abusive ideals still run strong today. Among the many reasons people should take more time getting to know one another and learning the respect that people are willing to have for one another.
Sexual Education is a vital part of growing up, but not having the information can be dangerous and threatening to their ability to consent and stop unwanted or dangerous behavior from others.
Where is it okay to masturbate?
Where is it okay to masturbate?
If you plan to masturbate you need to make sure that the place you are doing so is in respect to the people who live around you. It is important that we take care to make sure we are not able to be seen by others.
There are many people who have experienced sexual violence in the way of people who masturbate in public places, because they want others to see them. That type of behavior is predatory and not safe for people to participate in and is illegal due to the cruel nature of sexualization of others and indecent exposure.
In Private Spaces
In Private Spaces
Make yourself inaccessible from the people around you, this should be in a private room such as a bedroom. There should be no reasonable reason someone could walk in on you doing so. They may not consent to that type of interaction and that consent should be taken seriously.
Its important to think about the cleanliness of a place before deciding to interact with your genitals.
Respect for Unconsenting Company
Respect for Unconsenting Company
People don't consent to seeing you masturbate, which is why it needs to happen in private spaces, and the conversations around masturbation need to be respectful and non-pressured. If you plan to engage in mutual masturbation, then make sure that you are requiring consent for those interactions, holding yourself and others accountable.
"WHAT IS SEX? " Video
Fully-comprehensive sexual education video that goes from the basics through queer identities and sexual experiences. She also deconstructs types of relationships, identities, virginity, and typical sexual stereotypes.
"How do I Come? Everybody comes Weird."
Understand the orgasm, accessibility of sexual pleasure, and differences in AFAB experiences during orgasm. Discusses safe masturbation practices.
Specifically mentions POTS effects on orgasms and health.
Restricted Video: "HOW TO TOUCH YOURSELF- Lesbian Sex 101 (Ep.8)"
Goes in depth about the ways someone can masturbate and the best ways to do so in a safe and consensual way. Respecting yourself and learning to understand sexual desires and fantasies.
Vibrators and Sex Toys:
Vibrators and Sex Toys:
What are vibrators and sex toys, and why do people use them? Well it goes back to the idea of increasing pleasure, and typically we are discussing self-pleasure. However, many people use these devices when doing sexual acts together. Vibrators are typically used on external female genitalia (clitoris, vulva, vaginal opening), and sometimes also used as a penetrative object for all sexes. When it comes to toys there are thousands of ways that toys are designed and selected. Typically they are dependent on the ways you most often participate in sex. Dildos are a toy typically referring to the object form of male genitalia (penis and phalic shapes). There are also other things made specifically for anal penetration. Anal beads, are a very common form of anal penetration toys that are used typically during other vaginal penetration.
When choosing toys we want to go for materials that are BODY SAFE. Make sure that when purchasing any item you are looking for the materials that will keep you and your partner's safe. Make sure to be careful when choosing super low price options and the ways certain plastics can affect you.
There are other realms of toys that are based in the kinks and personal prefence in realms of sexual activities. It's important to remember than none of these toys are required to have a pleasurable sexual experience with yourself or others. However, when it comes to the stigmatization of self-pleasure, we want to make it clear that toys and vibrators are completely normal to have. If you are experiencing sexual desires, using toys to experiment for what you actually like, may help you communicate your desires to sexual partners in the future. Using toys is an easy way to suffice sexual urges, and have a better connection with yourself.
Keeping Toys Clean:
Keeping Toys Clean:
It is very important to keep any and all toys or objects used during sex that may have contact with bodily fluids. For extra protection, you can always purchase condoms to use with toys, especially if you are sharing these toys. When going to use a sex toy, you should always wash it with soap and water, and dry it with a clean cloth. It you use a toy that charges, make sure to be mindful of leaving a charger, charging in or near bed sheets (cloth) because you may have a fire hazard.
If you notice degradation of the sex toy, and any parts of the toy are no longer sealed or popping out, please stop using this toy immediately.
When to get new toys:
When to get new toys:
If the toy you have is facing any signs of degradation, or you notice tears in the structure, please retire this piece and dispose of it properly. If a pet gets a hold of a toy, (especially silicone) please retire the toy, as the fluids from the pet can be long-term imbedded in a toy. If you notice a toy is having discoloration, you should likely retire that toy as well.
(If you use a toy that is made of compostable materials, do not use long-term, and be vigilant for health changes.)
When disposing of toys please be careful and mindful of the types of rubber, silicone, plastic, batteries, etc. and dispose of them correctly.
Sexual Fantasies:
Sexual Fantasies:
All of us have sexual fantasies, they are part of the brains development. Most people think about their identities and expression when it comes to sex, in the beginning of puberty and into adolescence. Reminding ourselves of imagination's lack of reality, and the consent we require from others and ourselves, allows us to detach these fantasies from real life. No one is ever obligated to be with you due to your liking of them, but there are still appropriate ways of approaching these feelings.
It's important to remind ourselves the ways that media and online sources can steer us in the wrong direction (even us). All of your preference comes with time and place, as well as needs of you and others. Try to remember how lots of free or mainstream porn or views of sex in media, are hideously inaccurate and depict unattainable standards for sex and worthiness. Porn can be positive way of expressing sexual urges, but there are really hurtful effects of watching porn or being exposed to porn at a young age. There is no reason to give yourself any expectation for sexual interaction because it will be different with everyone person on the planet. We recommend staying away from porn, unless you are an adult and understand your needs.
"The microbiome is the collection of all microbes, such as bacteria, fungi, viruses, and their genes, that naturally live on our bodies and inside us. Although microbes are so small that they require a microscope to see them, they contribute in big ways to human health and wellness. They protect us against pathogens, help our immune system develop, and enable us to digest food to produce energy.
Because the microbiome is a key interface between the body and the environment, these microbes can affect health in many ways and can even affect how we respond to certain environmental substances. Some microbes alter environmental substances in ways that make them more toxic, while others act as a buffer and make environmental substances less harmful."
Planned Parenthood Sexual Health Glossary (From Different Health Conditions to Activism Information)
Planned Parenthood Sexual Health Glossary (From Different Health Conditions to Activism Information)
There is always more research being done!
There is always more research being done!
If you would like to help us write about commonly silenced areas or personal experiences you may have with these topics, contact us at thisisactivism2023@gmail.com or fill out our Comments page. We want our website to be a continuous growth of knowledge to share with each other in a positive way. There are so many things we don't talk about and we should!
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