This is typically referring to a women-identifying individual who is specifically interested in other women. Lesbian refers to the Greek word "Lesbos" referring to "Sappho". 

This is typically referring to a man-identifying individual who is particularly into other men. 

The word Gay comes from its history in the English and Latin languages of representing happiness/ joyfulness. 

This is typically referring to anyone who is interested in men & women /or all gender types. 

"Pansexual"  or "Queer" would be other possible terms for loving everyone and all people based on their person not genitalia or gender identity. It's important to remember that being queer can be another more ambiguous name for any of these identities as well. 

However, the unnecessary dislike of the bisexual community can be quite large from both sides of this spectrum. This makes having this identity difficult in someways, but it's most important that we seek out people who validate your identities and not people who refuse to understand them. 

This is typically referring to a person who was Assigned a sex at birth that doesn't match the typical traditional standards for gender. This identity means that no matter how you were born, or how you grew up, nothing defines the gender or identity someone may have in that time. 

This also means it is really important for us to discuss identities like non-binary: which means you don't feel assigned to any gender, and you like living freely between both stereotypical gender traits. This is why we always need to ask people their pronouns, because no matter how a person may be presenting themselves one day, we should always respect the identities they have. 

 A big part of understanding any gender identity, it also understaning that they can change. While you may feel like wearing black today, maybe tomorrow you'll want to wear green. Or maybe something you thought wasn't really your fashion a few years ago, is now. All of these things are not the exact same as identities, but explains why assuming change or assuming no-change are both uneasy roads. We want to make sure we make everyone feel as fabulous as possible in the body and mind they are in!

This is a term that can refer to one, some, or all of these identities. You can really have just about any identity in the LGBTQIA+ and identify with queerness. Queerness is typically referred to when homophobia is not relating to just homosexual relationships, and focusing more on the entirety of the not-straight or gender non-conforming communities. This is a term that often is used to help identify safe and unsafe areas or conversations. 

The history of the word queer, is to mean something that is not traditional or out of common understanding. 

Identity: 

The importance of expression and representation of queer joy and identity. It's impossible to live a fully enjoyable life when not being able to share your true experiences, loves, and pieces of who you are. 

Intersex Individuals:

While we don't often hold space for this truth as a society, the sexual "binary" doesn't technically exist. There are about as many people that are 'intersex', or that fall out of line from the stereotypically acknowledged 'male/female' binary as there are redheads in society. And as intersex traits can include visible  and invisible differences across hormones, genetics, and sex organs, there are many people who never even learn that they are intersex. In cases with reproductive organ differences, there can be a mix of the two standard forms of genitalia, some that can present 'traditionally' with different sex organs internally (unseen without imaging). Regardless, sex organs are sex organs. Because intersex genitalia can vary, it's important to remember the ways that we can over estimate the frequency of traditional sex organs. All people have different bodily features, this doesn't change when we discuss sex organs. 

Intersex: (Planned Parenthood Glossary Definition)

"People born with sex traits that are excluded by traditional ideas about male or female bodies (the sex binary). There are many ways that people are intersex. About 1-2 in every 100 people born in the U.S. are intersex."

This is referring to any person who does not feel or need sex to form deep emotional connections with partners. This DOES NOT mean that they don't participate in or enjoy sexual activity; however, it does mean that they may not feel the same emotional connection during sexual activity as others may. Often this identity is overlooked, or unseen, because of the denial that someone could be less interested in sex than 'most'. 

"The concept of Two-Spirit folks existed well before the arrival of European settlers on Turtle Island. Indigenous individuals who identified as Two-Spirit folks were seen as gifted and honored in their community because they carried two spirits with them, both male and female. 2S folks were often the healers, medicine people, and visionaries within their given community and they were foundational members of their culture. Much of this can be attributed to the “double vision” 2S people are gifted with, being able to see both through the masculine and feminine lens."

The Indigenous Foundation

“Being Two Spirit is being bestowed with the gift of sight and feeling. 

Two Spirits have the gift of seeing from both a male and female [sic] perspective and so in many cases it is easier to see into others as we can see into ourselves.”

- Marcy Angeles (Chiricahua Apache, Guamares Indian and Aztec) 

Artist and Indigenous Trans Rights Activist

Traditionally, Native American Two-Spirit people were male, female, and sometimes intersex individuals who combined activities of both men and women with traits unique to their status as Two-Spirit people. In most tribes, they were considered neither men nor women; they occupied a distinct, alternative gender status. In tribes where Two-Spirit males and females were referred to with the same term, this status amounted to a third gender. In other cases, Two-Spirit females were referred to with a distinct term and, therefore, constituted a fourth gender. Although there were important variations in Two-Spirit roles across North America, they shared some common traits:

• Specialized work roles. Male and female Two-Spirit people were typically described in terms of their preference for and achievements in the work of the "opposite" sex or in activities specific to their role. Two-Spirit individuals were experts in traditional arts - such as pottery making, basket weaving, and the manufacture and decoration of items made from leather. Among the Navajo, Two-Spirit males often became weavers, usually women and men's work, as well as healers, which was a male role. By combining these activities, they were often among the wealthier members of the tribe. Two-Spirit females engaged in activities such as hunting and warfare, and became leaders in war and even chiefs.

• Gender variation. A variety of other traits distinguished Two-Spirit people from men and women, including temperament, dress, lifestyle, and social roles.

• Spiritual sanction. Two-Spirit identity was widely believed to be the result of supernatural intervention in the form of visions or dreams and sanctioned by tribal mythology. In many tribes, Two-Spirit people filled special religious roles as healers, shamans, and ceremonial leaders.

• Same-sex relations. Two-Spirit people typically formed sexual and emotional relationships with non-Two-Spirit members of their own sex, forming both short- and long-term relationships. Among the Lakota, Mohave, Crow, Cheyenne, and others, Two-Spirit people were believed to be lucky in love, and able to bestow this luck on others.

Indian Health Service

Gender in itself is a construct of our long standing history in humanity. While we have seen a correlation with gender identity and sexual organs in humans for our history on this planet; there still well-known evidence that humans have always had people who don't identify within their sex given at birth. Being that it is a construct and system that most of our societies have upheld and idolized for its sexual and manipulative nature. Defining Gender as a system means that it has more than the barest of definitions; this system functions on the perception of the self and the people around you. Women, men and others, are given a chance at life all the same, but we all know the not-so-creative differences between the ways we parents and instruct younger girls in comparison to boys. Society often subjects people to having a specific type of childhood, and experiences through life based on their sex-assigned-at-birth, that assignment and subjectiveness is gender. This all comes down to the ways each person perceives themselves and their gender, in comparison to the other identities around them. Many 'men' are compelled to not show emotion or compassion for others as a way of gaining strength; however, this is a self-harm tactic that most men have learned from those around them and older than them. 

When we begin to reframe our experiences surrounding gender, we are merely looking at a the same image with different glasses. While a person may be a person and without identification they remain genderless; however, the moment I tell you she is here or he is there, a completely new perception of the interaction is taking place. This is one of many ways that the way we have made gender a system in our everyday lives. Exploring the understanding of any of our genders, is to go beyond anything our sex at birth might convey. Our gender expression is that of what we have been manipulated over the years to be what it is today. This doesn't mean that your expression is incorrect it just means a lot of interactions helped you form that expression. The different groups of people out there today believe the gender expression somehow infringes on the lives around the person expressing their gender differently, while it has no real impact on those around them. Many people of stereotypical gender expression have experienced several times where the impression of their expression gave someone else a false impression of who they were based on stereotyping. This means that gender is a system that serves very few people in the bigger institutions of modern day capitalism which typically consist of rich white males. 

Gender can be expressed on a spectrum of femininity and masculinity, but at the basis of breaking down gender norms and constructs we have freedom of expression. There may be a gender attached to someone's identity but you can act, dress, and be whomever you want in this world. Of course this sounds a lot more glamorous than it may be in reality. 

Due to the high range of hate crimes that occur every day surrounding gender and sexual orientation, it has been very important for everyone who is queer in some way to be careful about who they share that information with. It can be dangerous for some of us to share our identifying factors with others. Calling our Significant Others or Family Members: "Partner", "Spouse", "Significant Other", "Sibling", "Pal", (etc.) and other non-gendered specific names can ensure a bit of extra safety. However those who are most inquisitive of these kinds of things may inquire deeper; this is why we encourage our allies to discuss their non-queer relationships and non-queers family members in the same way. This has completely destigmatize the word "Partner," and "Spouse," allowing for many more queer individuals to discuss their partners in safety at work or in public.  

Gender as a Construct &Assigned Roles: Planned Parenthood

Agender – A gender identity term for individuals who often conceptualize their gender as not aligning with any gender categories, having no other words that quite fit, and not caring about the project of gender altogether. Some people who are agender understand this identity to mean genderless. 

Bigender – A gender identity term for a person identifying as two genders, either simultaneously or varying between the two.

Cisgender – A gender identity term for individuals whose gender identity aligns with the gender identity assumed based on their birth-assigned sex. Cisgender people receive benefits that trans and nonbinary do not receive. Abbreviated to “cis”. (See Cisgender Privilege)

Cisgender (Cis) Man - a man who was assigned male (or intersex) at birth and idenitifies as a cisgender man. Cisgender man is one of two gender identities included in the gender binary, with “cisgender woman” being the other in the binary. “Man” and “male” are not interchangeable.    

Cisgender (Cis) Woman - a woman who was assigned female (or intersex) at birth and idenitifies as a cisgender woman. Cisgender woman is one of two gender identities included in the gender binary, with “cisgender man” being the other in the binary. “Woman” and “female” are not interchangeable.    

Femininity – A set of attributes, behaviors, and roles associated with girls and women, which may be expressed and embodied by people regardless of their gender or birth-assigned sex. Performing femininity in a culturally established way is expected of people assigned female-at-birth. 

Gender – A social construct framed by a society’s understanding of masculinity and femininity as related to roles, behaviors, expectations, activities, identities, and attributes. This term is often understood as a binary, however, historically and presently, gender is expansive and dynamic. The key elements of an individual's gender are gender identity, gender attribution, and gender expression. 

Gender Attribution – The act of attributing a gender to another with or without knowledge of that person’s gender identity. In Western culture, these assumptions are rooted in our cultural understanding of gender as a binary system and how gender is socialized. Assuming a person’s gender pronouns is one example of gender attribution. 

Gender Affirmation Surgeries – Surgical procedures that some trans folks pursue that create congruence between one’s body and one’s gender identity. Historically, gender affirmation surgery has been referred to as sex reassignment surgery.

Gender Binary – A socially constructed gender system in which gender is classified into two distinct and opposite categories. These gender categories are both narrowly defined and disconnected from one another. They are strictly enforced through rigid gender roles and expectations. Further, there is a hierarchy inherent to the classification, in which one gender, men/boys/masculinity, has access to power and privilege and the other, women/girls/femininity, is marginalized and oppressed. These classifications are seen as immutable; those assigned male at birth should identify as men and embody masculinity, and those assigned female at birth should identify as women and embody femininity. This binary system excludes nonbinary, genderqueer, and gender non-conforming individuals. All people are harmed by the gender binary system, but your place within the system determines the degree and quality of harm. The gender binary is weaponized through conquest, colonization, and continued occupation of indigenous peoples’ lands. The gender binary system is inherently violent and foregrounds all gender-based oppression.

Gender Dysphoria – Discomfort and/or distress that varies in intensity, duration, and interval for an individual extending from the disjuncture between one’s conceptualization of their gender and the way their body is. Serves as a medical term and diagnosis in the the American Psychological Association’s (APA) Diagnostics and Statistical Manual (DSM-5), which contributes to the stigmatization of transgender identities as a mental disorder. Clinically speaking, gender dysphoria is present when a person experiences significant distress related to their gender. The concept of dysphoria, rather than the diagnosis, is employed frequently by the trans/nonbinary community to name their experience. Not all trans people experience gender dysphoria, and not everyone views gender dysphoria as a mental health diagnosis. 

Gender Essentialism –  Gender essentialism is the belief that there is a universal experience of gender, often linked to sex assignment at birth. Gender essentialism often fails to address the intersections of race, class, and sexuality. 

Gender Expression – The way in which someone expresses their gender, either consciously or unconsciously. This can encompass everything that communicates our gender to others, including clothing, hairstyle, body language, manner of speaking, social interactions, and gender roles. Most people have some blend of masculine and feminine qualities that comprise their gender expression, and this expression can also vary depending on the social context. There is not always a direct translation between gender identity and gender expression. A person’s gender expression may or may not align with the way people attribute gender to that person. 

Gender Euphoria - The inverse of Gender Dysphoria. This is a state of comfort, joy, or satisfaction with one’s gender expression or attribution.

Gender Fluid or Genderfluid – A gender identity term for people whose gender expression is variable across time and space.

Gender Identity –  A person’s individual understanding of their own gender and the language they use to describe this understanding. This can also be considered one’s innate and personal experience of gender. 

Gender-Inclusive – A term used to describe language and spaces that validate the existence and experiences of all gender identities and expressions, especially marginalized gender identities. 

Gender Marker – The identification of your gender on legal documents, often conflated with legal sex.

Gender Nonconforming – A term that describes a person whose behavior or appearance does nto conform to societal and cultural expectations of what is appropriate for their gender. This term is usually more related to gender expression or gender attribution than gender identity. It is usually used as a descriptor. Although rare, some people do use this term as a gender identity term. 

Gender Roles – A set of social and behavioral norms that are considered appropriate for particular genders. Gender roles change across time, space, culture, region, and context. When viewed in Western culture, gender roles are expressed within the gender binary system. 

Genderqueer –  A gender identity term for people who conceptualize their gender as beyond, existing outside of, or not included within the gender binary. This term is linked to the academic discipline of Queer Theory and carries a political and/or disruptive connotation. As an identity term, genderqueer is sometimes conceptualized as a type of nonbinary identity. Genderqueer is sometimes written as GenderQueer. (See Queer)

Nonbinary – A gender identity term for a person who identifies outside of the gender binary. Nonbinary is also conceptualized as an array of genders at some distance form the gender binary. Nonbinary is sometimes written as “non-binary.” A common abbreviation for nonbinary is enby. 

Allosexual – A sexual identity term for a person who experiences sexual attraction.

Asexual – Abbreviated as "Ace". A sexual identity term for people who do not feel sexual attraction, experience little sexual attraction to others, or do not feel desire for a sexual partner or partners.  Asexuality can be conceptualized as a continuum with identities along said continuum possessing their own identity labels. Some asexual individuals may still experience romantic attractions.  Not all asexual people are aromantic. Asexuality is distinct from celibacy because celibacy is a choice. 

BDSM – An acronym used in kink and fetish communities that stands for “Bondage & Discipline,” “Dominance & Submission” and “Sadism & Masochism” and describes a dynamic between partner(s). These practices may or may not be sexual and may take place continually throughout a relationship or for discrete periods of time, often referred to as “play.” These practices are often misunderstood as abusive, but when practiced in a safe, sane, and consensual manner they can be a part of a healthy sex life. Trust, consent, and intimacy are all important parts of BDSM. Please see “Safe, Sane and Consensual” for more information.

Bisexual – Sometimes shortened to “bi”. A sexual identity term that most often refers to a person who is attracted to:

• people of multiple genders. 

• their own gender and another gender.

• all genders (see pansexual). 

• men and women

  • This understanding of bisexuality has been critiqued for being reductive and not inclusive of transgender, nonbinary, and genderqueer identities

Bisexuals can be attracted to a variety of genders to varying degrees. Some consider bisexual to be an umbrella term that encompasses all non-monosexual identities. When speaking generally about bisexuals or bisexuality, it is best to use and assume more inclusive definitions.

Bottom - An adjective describing a receptive sexual role, or a verb describing the act of performing a receptive sexual role. This can be used as a sexual identity term, or a description of a discrete sexual experience.

Demisexual – A sexual identity term for people who feel sexual attraction only to people with whom they have an emotional bond.  Demisexuals vary in the quality (type) and intensity of their sexual desire, many feeling sexual attraction rarely and some having little to no interest in sexual activity.  Some conceptualize demisexuality as a part of the asexual spectrum.

Dominant – Person who exercises control in a Dominant/Submissive relationship or BDSM activities.  Can be used for any gender. (Masculine: Dom, Feminine: Domme)

Down Low – A term used to refer to men who may or may not explicitly identify as hetersosexual, who engage in relationships with women, but who engage in sex with men.  Typically, these men do not identify themselves as gay or bisexual. The term originated in the Black community, but the behavior is not unique to any race, ethnicity, or culture.

Fluid – Generally with another term attached, like “genderfluid” or “fluid-sexuality,” “fluid(ity)” describes an identity that may change or shift over time between/within/without various identities.

Gay – A sexual identity term that most often refers to a person who is sexually attracted to a person of the same or a similar gender.

Grey Ace – A sexual identity term for people who experience very little, limited, or low sexual attraction, or only experience sexual attraction rarely.  Grey Ace individuals are a part of the broader asexual community

Heterosexual – A sexual identity term that most often refers to men who are only sexually attracted to women and women who are only sexually attracted to men. 

Homosexual – A sexual identity term that most often refers to a person who is sexually attracted to people of their same gender.  Presently considered offensive and dated to many in the LGBTQIA2S+ community, though some still claim it as an identity.

Kink - A sexual practice or desire that falls outside of mainstream or commonplace understandings of sexuality.

Leather Community – A community which encompasses those who engage in leather, sado-masochism, bondage and domination, uniform, cowboys, rubber, and other fetishes. Although the leather community is often associated with the queer community, it is not a “gay-only” community.

Lesbian - A sexual identity term most commonly for women who are attracted to women. 

Monosexual Identities – Sexual identity terms, like gay, straight, and lesbian, in which a person is attracted to one gender. This term is considered to be the opposite of polysexuality or bisexuality. 

MSM – “Men who have sex with men,” men who engage in same-gender sexual behavior, but who may not necessarily self-identify as gay or queer.

Omnisexual – A sexual identity term that most often refers to a person who experiences sexual attraction to people of all and/or many gender identities/expressions.  Also commonly shortened to “omni.”

Pansexual – A sexual identity term that most often refers to a person who experiences sexual attraction to people of all and/or many gender identities/expressions.  Also commonly shortened to “pan.”

Polysexual Identities – Sexual identity terms, like bisexual and pansexual, in which a person is attracted to more than one gender. This term is considered by some to be the opposite of monosexual identities. 

Safe, Sane, and Consensual – The phrase “Safe, Sane, and Consensual” sometimes shortened to SSC can be traced back to a Gay-Male-S/M Activists report from August 1983, which appears to be its earliest mention.  It is thought that the “safe” and “sane” originated from the saying of having a “safe and sane” 4th of July celebration. The idea of having a good time while being careful seemed appropriate for BDSM and began to pick up in popularity.  As BDSM communities became more cohesive and an accepted place to express our kinky interests, it became a saying of safety and ethical practice. The idea has continued to evolve among the BDSM culture.

Sexuality – A person’s sexual feelings, thoughts, desires, identities, values, and behaviors. This includes one’s sexual identity and romantic identity. Sexuality also includes the “who/what/where/when/why/how” of how each of us engages (or not) in sexual activity. 

Sexual Behavior – The way a person acts or behaves sexually. Sexual behavior may or may not align with one’s sexual identity or sexual attractions. Sexual behavior includes the sexual activities that a person engages in (or does not engage in). 

Sexual Identity – The language a person uses to describe themself as a sexual being. This is the more current term for sexual orientation. One’s sexual identity may or may not align with one’s sexual behavior or sexual attractions. A few common sexual identity terms include bisexual, pansexual, lesbian, gay, and straight. Frequently called Sexual Orientation

Straight – A slang term for heterosexual. First used in gay communities as slang: to “go straight" was to stop engaging in any form of queer sexual or romantic behavior.

Submissive – A person who allows themself to be dominated by a partner who may hold the identity of a dominant or dom within BDSM activities.  This could take the form of a 24/7 dynamic, or an identity that exists within specific agreed-upon time and space.

Switch – A person who switches between sexual roles. Both dominant/submissive, top/bottom, etc.

Top - An adjective describing a giving sexual role, or a verb describing the act of performing a giving sexual role. This can be used as a sexual identity term, or a description of a discrete sexual experience.

WSW – “Women who have sex with women”. Women who engage in same-sex behavior, but who may not necessarily self-identify as lesbians.

We hope that we can foster a conversation where the act of sex itself is not sexualized. It is vital that we are able to come together as a species, across both sexes, to understand that sexual activity has historically not always been pleasurable for everyone involved, and the force of birthing and sex on females, has created a generational shift in how one may view sexual activity. When coming at these conversations from a scientific perspective, we have to remain aware that these are functions of our bodies, and for some the lack of function or ability is really difficult to manage. The more we have educated conversations on these topics, the less scared or stigmatizing it will be to experience them. We all have these bodies, yet we still want to live in a world where we pretend we don't know. There is nothing that should be forcibly hidden from the rest of the world, especially if it is about the state of our bodies or lives, we are here on Earth to wittness one another. We should curate a society where there is no justification for unconsensual actions that comes from ever mistaking another human's state of being as 'promiscuity', for that is a grave dishonor to our own species. Promiscuity itself, is a word that should have never needed to exist, only used to describe a women's presentation from a horrendous man's perspective. 

Another example, being able to discuss an orgasm and how they can occur for/in different bodies, without sexualizing the conversation, is imperative for us to have a framework and move through discussing the ways pleasure can occur with another person, without creating unnecessary pressure or being uneducated about potential needs. 

There are many groups of people who do not experience, or define, sexual pleasure in the ways typical society may; and beyond their ability for such, they carry entire lives with them still. We often forget about people's traumas (old or new), and that emotional, physical, or mental these traumas stay with us, changing in the soft ways they might, but they never go away. We have to keep in mind that outside of ability or want, all bodies experience orgasm and pleasure differently in the physical form. This along, with the complexity of different genitalia potentially needing different stimulation to achieve pleasure, can influence the series of actions so that sexual acts are only pleasurable for one person at a time. 

 From a neurological perspective, we have to keep in mind that sexual pleasure and sexual desires have always lived in the part of the brain responsible for fight or flight, and our adrenaline centers, which means for those who've experienced a lot of their life in severe fight or flight, sexual activities may be a different experience. It is often that people experience intense emotional releases when they experience sexual pleasure, which is something that we as a society should be foster more in conversation. 

Many groups of people experience their pleasure in different ways depending on how sexual activities have occured in their lives, and how it affects them. We know that 1 in 6 women have been assaulted, so we understand that there may be direct trauma associated with the act of sex, and sexual pleasure. The act of sexual reproduction for the intention of birth can also bring it's own from of trauma for many people. Experiencing a misscarriage or loss of a child, is a life-changing experience, one that may temporarily or long-term affect the people who are in that relationship. For parents going through infertility, the act of sexual activity can become associated with negative emotions rather than positive ones.  That does not mean that sexual activity isn't pleasurable for people in this situation, but that the pleasure is not being done for the act of pleasure, but may lead to a child.