What are vibrators and sex toys, and why do people use them? Well it goes back to the idea of increasing pleasure, and typically we are discussing self-pleasure. However, many people use these devices when doing sexual acts together. Vibrators are typically used on external female genitalia (clitoris, vulva, vaginal openning), and sometimes also used as a penetrative object for all sexes. When it comes to toys there are thousands of ways that toys are designed and selected. Typically they are dependent on the ways you most often participate in sex. Dildos are a toy typically referring to the object form of male genitalia (penis and phalic shapes). There are also other things made specifically for anal penetration. Anal beads, are a very common form of anal penetration toys that are used typically during other vaginal penetration. 

When choosing toys we want to go for materials that are BODY SAFE. Make sure that when purchasing any item you are looking for the materials that will keep you and your partner's safe. Make sure to be careful when choosing super low price options and the ways certain plastics can effect you. 

There are other realms of toys that are based in the kinks and personal prefence in realms of sexual activities. It's important to remember than none of these toys are required to have a pleasurable sexual experience with yourself or others. However, when it comes to the stigmatization of self-pleasure, we want to make it clear that toys and vibrators are completely normal to have. If you are experiencing sexual desires, using toys to experiment for what you actually like, may help you communicate your desires to sexual partners in the future. Using toys is an easy way to suffice sexual urges, and have a better connection with yourself. 

Talking to our partners about the type of sex we are having should not be scary or stigmatized. If you are feeling uncomfortable or unable to talk to your partner about sex, it may be time to think about the status of the relationship as abusive, manipulative, etc. Talking about sex with our doctors should also not carry stigmatization, but we know that many AFAB people are sexualized by their own male physicians, even though, it should be a professional and caring conversation. We hope that by talking about the problems, we can actively help people avoid innappropriate behavior, know how to advocate for themselves and others, and find better providers. 

When it comes to having the conversations, often our positive and professional health providers wan to do everything they can to help us have a better quality of life, which includes sex! We have to find the honesty and respect for ourselves to have productive conversations with our physicians so that we recieve the best care possible. Often people find themselves unsure if they can ask the weirder questions or even bring up discomfort to their providers at all, but we are here to say that is not true. All people should be empowered to ask their physicians about any and every medical concern they may have. Planned Parenthood can be a really good resources for people who would rather talk to people who see these things more regularly, but every physician should be able to help with concerns around genitalia and sexual discomfort or dysfunction. 

Citations Page